On part one of Keeping Up With the Kardashians: The Final Curtain Thursday night, the Kardashian and Jenner ladies sat down with Andy Cohen for a Bravo-style KUWTK reunion, where there were no holds barred.

When Cohen asked Kim Kardashian if she thinks KUWTK would have been as successful initially had her 2002 sex tape with Ray J not been leaked in 2007, Kim admitted that she doesn’t.

“Looking back, probably not. I think that everything happens for a reason, and I really try to, like, live like that. And every time there’s, like, something and a crazy scandal that feels like you can’t breathe and how are you going to get through this, it always is a lesson. Even if it’s a private lesson, or even if it’s just something that we didn’t know we had to go through,” Kardashian told Cohen, who then asked if she has thought about the day she’ll have to explain the tape to her four children. While Kardashian said that she has thought about it, she hasn’t had to have that conversation yet.

“Luckily, I think that so many years have gone on, and so many things have happened positively, that it really erases that,” said Kardashian.

Ultimately, Kardashian admitted, “That is something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. That is something that’s, like, being held over my head. I try not to have any regrets, but it’s probably the one thing that I wish didn’t exist, and if I could erase any of the stupid things that I’ve done in life, that’s probably it. And it’s more so from being a mom than anything.”